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Thursday, April 08, 2010

~PRETENDING GAY

Warning : Long entry

A friend of mine approached me to write something pleasant/funny about being gay as long as I don't mention his name. Okay here's my stories. I'm not encouraging him but as he said, there are more kejians than efforts to accept gays/lessies as human beings. To their POVs gay isn't just about sex as a typical malaysian will thought about them. Now don't get me wrong, i'm not a big fan of gay/lesbos but just tiny reminder : we all have friends with their own personality, sometimes them being gay/lessy have no bad effect on your friendship at all. Whatever reason you may have to your own unique personality just makes you, you.

Example :

"Pempuan tu krek la. Sat² marah ngan aku, sat² baik lupa yg dia da maki aku, aku pun tak paham"

"Mangkuk ni memang suka menipu. Daripada 9 benda dia bagitau kita, semilan² tu memang muhong ja. Hang jangan dok caya"

"Gelilah depa dua tu bukan GP ke? Eww."

FYI, GP stands for Gay Peng. Or senang cakap, tomboi kapel ngan tomboi. What people can't accept is gays+lessies also normal persons everyday. Makan macam orang jugak. Minum macam orang jugak, tengok tivi, tekan duit kat ATM, berak prettt prott puss prett kalu cirit, kena tipu ngan sebab tamak ngan MLM dan Infinity Downline gak. Only typical malaysian associates gays/lessies to fullsex life.

Continue Reading...

My story : last year I was playing Habbo with a dear friend (Haboo is like square pixel fancy game where you have your own character, own room, own furnitures and shits, and interact with other players in so called Habbo world/hotel). We were enjoying introducing ourselves as Naz and Aliff the gay couple. Even had a Habbo friend (a school minor freak) gave us Quran quotes etc for us to 'taubatlah'.

What?! I mean, it's just a game. Should you get serious everytime you met a gay/peng/lessy friend? Or get religious suddenly? When you yourselves have a very eventful nightlife - clubbings, minumings, menjalangings?

Ok Habbo was last year story. Let's rewind to last 3 years when there used to be 2 of my former kilang buddies rented this house with me. I did told bit later that I like girls, in a weird way. They suddenly became alim and 'cuak' with me - no more berkemban in front of me and avoid friendly skin contacts/touchings with me. I was really enjoying LMAO alone.

I got them to respect me without having to ask for it.

Yup, they were those people who berkembans indoor infront of others. People who knows me know that i am not the kind of person who touches others a lot. Macam kalau bercakap mesti nak bertepuk tampaq sampai kaki tangan naik pastu kalau nak nampak manja mesti cubit² gatal. Pegang², sexy², I avoided it without having to ask my exhousemates to do so! :)

Lastly, last 4 years when a short relationship with a guy ended, I did announced I want the next to be with my own kind - also a girl. Found myself mengorat/mengayat another exkilang buddy name Yati, although her bf that time was my own friend, but hu keirrrrrrrrssss. Pretending to be a lesbian was really fun. Managed to get few people get suspicious with me, like

"Astaga betoi ka Tupai fras sampai jadi camtu?"

Yati claimed that her bf started to dislike me because of my gatalness towards the girl. Bwahahaharrr. One SMS event still remembered today was when I texted Yati to ask when will she be available (free time), as if nak ajak keluaq/jumpa/deting la konon padahal transport seniri pun tadak. I didn't wait for the reply because of the reason stated before : ajak² ayam je. Later when I checked my phone there were 1 misscall and a replied SMS:

'TAK FREE. BILA2 PUN TAK FREE'

Oh my. How come this Yati who played along (deep down I know she knew i was just pretending) suddenly got garang?

Later again Yati texted me to tell what happened : It was her bf (my friend) who called back - in anger, i assumed - but because i didn't answer so he replied my SMS. Haha. That's how I managed to tick my friend off! Maybe dia dah lama sabaq kot aku dok ayat marka dia. Lalala. Pretend la beb, pretend.

Really had fun menggatal like that. New things to discover if we put ourselves in other personality than your own boring one. Aku tak suruh la pulak lepas ni hangpa kena pi merompak or membunuh just to FEEL what a perompak/pembunuh feels like.

Know plenty of men out there did pretend to be 'lembut' at least once. Like teasing other kontrol-maskulin friend with bapok voice/tangan/touchings, resulting your victim blushed and mengelak geli like a girl. Haha. Comments below.

I'll continue with another pretend experience in next entry.

p/s sorry for my friend that i ayat his yati back then, if you read these la kan. Wei aku really main² ja lah dulu. Jangan maraaa haa



3 Comments »:

Faisal Admar said...

ooo kalau nak amik feel pondan nak kena pakai apa lak malam ni?

shoulder lebar mcm gorilla ni boleh gak ka?

Tupai Karan said...

aitt nak feel jd pondan lak watpa? try pretend/feel dari kacamana seorang penganggur. Stress manjang.

Gorilla? It depends. Are u a silverback?

Matjoe said...

thanks leave a comment back at my blog. penang mmg mari. nasik kandaq mariii!!!

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